


I hate you, I love you

by KrashKriegs



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:38:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7062859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrashKriegs/pseuds/KrashKriegs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knew a drunken mistake could lead to the start of something no one saw coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I hate you, I love you

**Author's Note:**

> The summary suck I'm sorry. This is something that was requested for me to write by one of my friends and I have been workng on it for a month now. I wanted to break it up in two or three parts so let me know if you want me to continue! Feel free to talk to me on my tumblr are-you-a-unicorn.tumblr.com or send me prompts if you want! Thanks for reading.

Ashlyn sighed as she leaned against the bar after checking her phone for the fifth time and still no text from Ali. She figured the girl must have went out with friends or maybe she’s cuddled up in bed. She was about to send another text when she felt a pair of arms grab one of her own. “Shit, Lex, you scared the shit out of me. Warn a girl next time.” She said chuckling as she shoved her phone in her pocket. 

 

“Sorry, it’s just you’re missing out on all the fun. We just won our first match you should be jumping up and down and drinking till you can’t walk with us. But you’re over here pouting at your phone.” Alex said tugging on Ashlyn’s shirt. “Let’s do a shot.” 

 

“I know. I’m happy we won, I’m happy for you and your amazing goal. It’s just hard not missing Ali. I went from seeing her everyday to seeing her through computer screens and her voice through phone calls. Alright, I’ll do one.” Ashlyn complied as she motioned for the bar tender to pour them a few. 

 

Alex smiled widely as she took the glass and clinked it with the blonde’s and lifted it up to her lips with a playful wink. Ashlyn mirrored her movements. The process repeated itself a few times before they had crossed the line of tipsiness.

 

After the fifth round or so, Ashlyn felt herself being dragged to the dance floor, innocent. Alex is looking pretty good in her dress, innocent. Alex pressed her back against Ashlyn’s front, best friends do that. Alex’s hips move to the beat of the music, she’s drunk. Ashlyn’s hands wrapped around the brunette’s slim waist, she’s drunk too. 

  

After the third or fourth song, everything started getting hazier, the better Alex’s body felt on hers, and the less innocent the dancing became. The more she forgot about Ali. It wasn’t until Alex dragged her off to the dark section of the club that Ashlyn realized they stopped dancing. She was about to open her mouth to talk when she felt a soft pair of lips against her own. It took a few seconds for Ashlyn to slowly kiss back as her hands slid to the other girl’s waist. 

 

As Alex started to pull away she bit down on Ashlyn’s lower lip, her own hand moved to push blonde hair off Ashlyn’s shoulder. Her lips fell to the now exposed skin of Ashlyn’s neck. Her tongue trailed painfully slow over sensitive skin before she bit down and slowly started to suck on the sweet skin. 

 

“Fuck…” Ashlyn cursed out her hand moving to hold Alex’s head where it was as her eyes fluttered shut.  It wasn’t until someone accidentally bumped into her that Ashlyn actually realized what they were doing. “Fuck, Alex!” She said pulling away quickly and shoving the younger girl off her. “What are we doing?” She whispered out looking at the brunette with wide eyes. 

 

“I don’t…fuck, Ash, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize what I was doing.” Alex replied rubbing the back of her neck as she took a deep sigh. “Okay, that’s not the total truth. It’s just we’ve gotten so close. You were there for me when Servando and I got divorced, and we’ve spent practically every day together. I just…I think I’ve developed feelings.” She said guiltily. 

 

“Feelings?!” Ashlyn muttered out as she ran her hands through her blonde hair with a heavy sigh. Would she be lying to say she didn’t see where the girl was coming from, she didn’t realize until now that she felt the same way about the other girl, but _fuck_ , she had Ali, she loved Ali with all her heart. Her heart sank. How could she do this to her girlfriend? “Look, Alex. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same, but I have Ali. I love her.” She said her eyes starting to tear up. “Listen I have to go, I need to get out of here. We should talk when we are sober, okay?” Ashlyn waited till the other girl slowly nodded before she patted her arm with a sad smile before walking out of the club and hopped in a taxi back to her house. 

_………………………………….._

 

Ashlyn sighed heavily as she unlocked the front door of her house and pushed the door open. She walked in and leaned her back against the door as it closed, her eyes shut tightly and a shaking breath escaped her lips. 

 

“Hi, babe! Sorry I didn’t answer your calls or texts. I wanted to surprise you.” Ali said with a wide smile as she waited by the doorframe of the living room. 

 

Ashlyn’s eyes popped opened as she looked to where the voice came from and saw Ali with her hair tied up in a messy bun and in a pair of Ashlyn’s sweatpants and one of Ashlyn’s shirts. “You’re here.” She said quietly as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. 

 

Ali’s smile dropped when she saw Ashlyn started to tear up. “Hey, hey...” She said quickly walking up to the girl and cupped her face. “What’s wrong?” She asked gently caressing the blonde’s cheek with her thumb. 

 

“I…I just missed you.” She said burying her head in the crook of Ali’s neck. “Als.” She whispered out clinging onto Ali’s shirt. “I need to talk to you.” She said pulling away for a second and pulling Ali over to the living room where she saw candles lit everywhere. Two glasses of wine and a blanket also awaiting them on the couch and coffee table. “I-…” She started to say as her voice got lost in her throat. 

 

“Ash, what is it? You’re scaring me.” Ali said gently rubbing her hand up and down Ashlyn’s arm. Her brown eyes looked over the blonde’s face looking for any type of answer before her eyes landed on a distinct mark on the blonde’s neck. Ali pulled her hands away as if they were on fire. “What the _fuck_ is that?” Ali said with an accusing tone. 

 

“Ali, please. This isn’t how I wanted to tell you.” She said gently looking up at the other girl.

 

“Who?!” Ali said quickly. 

 

“Ali, I swear it was just a kiss, I was so drunk and I didn’t realize what I was doing.” 

 

“Fucking who Ashlyn?!” She yelled out.

 

“Alex.”

 

“Alex!?” Ali said before laughing to herself. “That’s great, Ashlyn. Honestly I should have known.” She replied standing up and shoving the blanket off her lap. 

 

Ashlyn quickly stood up following her. “I was lonely, this distance has been so hard on me and I don’t know….Alex was there and I was drunk. You have to understand that being so far from you…I-Can you honestly tell me there wasn’t anyone who crossed your mind while I was gon-“ Ashlyn’s words were cut off by a sharp and stinging slap across the face. 

 

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare twist this on me! You wanted to play here in Florida, I was supportive. You and Alex were getting closer by the second; I didn’t think anything of it. I come here to surprise you and you have a fucking hickey on your neck, Ashlyn!”  Ali spat out, viciously.

 

“That’s not what I meant, fuck, Ali. This is on me…I did this to us. I just don’t know how to explain. Alex has been there through everything these past few months. When I’m upset she’s a few miles away. When we got into a fight or an argument, she’s right there. She’s just Alex…” Ashlyn trailed off, looking down.

 

Ali looked at the blonde quietly as she listen to her talk about Alex when she felt a small pang in her heart. “Do you love her?” Ali whispered out.

 

Ashlyn’s head whipped up as she looked at Ali. “What?”

 

“Do you love her?” Ali asked once again.

 

This time Ashlyn couldn’t bring herself to look Ali in the eye as the answer could be told by her body language. 

 

Ali let out a shaky breath as she nodded to herself and turned away from the blonde. Ali moved to grab her suitcase. 

 

“What are you doing? “ Ashlyn asked her eyes flicking between Ali and her suitcase. “Ali, no! Please! Please don’t go…Please!” Ashlyn cried out as she reached out as she grabbed Ali’s arms clinging to any part of the girl she could grasp. 

 

“Don’t! Don’t you **_fucking_** touch me!” Ali sobbed out as she pushed Ashlyn’s hands away from her.

 

“I love you, Alexandra.” Ashlyn said to the other girl, gaining no response. “Ali, I love you! Don’t go, please. You’re all I have!” She said slumping to the ground as she wrapped her arms around Ali’s legs. “You’re my everything.” She sobbed desperately.  

 

“You broke me! Do you understand me? You **_broke_** me!” Ali screamed out clutching at her heart. “You’re the last person I _ever_ expected to do this to me.” Ali said as her voice cracked. 

 

“I never…fuck, I never wanted to do this. I never wanted to hurt you! Please just give me another chance.” 

 

“I **_hate_** you.” Ali said pushing Ashlyn off her roughly. “Don’t ever talk to me again.” She spat out before grabbing her suitcase and walking out of Ashlyn’s house. 

 

……………………………………………

 

It had been a few weeks since that night and after many ignored phone calls, texts, and flowers Ashlyn started to lose hope. She had talked to Alex a few days after everything happened and they came to terms that there were feelings there, but for now they weren’t going to do anything about it. Ashlyn still loved Ali and she needed to talk to her. Now that they were in camp together, they would some how have to talk. Of course, as always, Ali was her roommate. 

 

They had training for a while, and since they didn’t have the actual match for a few days, everyone thought it was a great idea to go out to the bar tonight and catch up. Of course, whenever Ashlyn would walk into the room, Ali would walk out. She’s sure half of the girl’s knew what had happened because when she would go to a room looking for her most of them looked her up and down and said ‘no clue’ before shutting the door. When she got to Kelley and Press’ room she could have sworn she saw Ali straightening her hair in the bathroom, before the door was shut in her face a second later. 

 

Ashlyn went back to the room and got ready, even if she didn’t feel like going out. There was a chance she could get Ali to talk if she had a few drinks in her. She put on a ripped pair of black jeans and a black shirt and her favorite snapback that Ali got her months ago. 

 

She met up with Whitney and Tobin out in the lobby where she saw Alex in a short, but classy red dress, standing behind Tobin and keeping to herself. Ashlyn smiled at the three girls before climbing in the Taxi with them.

They arrived at the bar after a ten-minute drive and met up with the other women inside. Pretty soon everyone had a drink in their hands and were dancing away. Ali stayed pretty close to a large group of the girls, never really standing alone for Ashlyn to be able to talk to her. The blonde sighed to herself and lifted her drink to her lips when she saw Alex alone in the corner of the bar sitting down on a small couch. The blonde made her way over and sat down beside the brunette. “Hey, why you over here all alone?” She asked looking at the smaller girl. 

 

“I just feel horrible about everything I caused.” She said, sadly looking at Ashlyn. 

 

“Hey, it takes two.” Ashlyn said gently patting the girl’s hand, and gave it a small squeeze. “We talked about this, there’s obviously unresolved feelings between both of us, shit happens. We can only work to move forward. You’re still my best friend, nothing changed.” She said giving the girl a gentle smile. When Alex didn’t smile in return Ashlyn playfully nudged her. “Come on, show me a smile.” She said taking off her snapback and putting it on Alex’s head. The girl finally cracked a smile. “That’s my Alex.” She said, with a laugh. 

 

Ali leaned against the bar as she looked over at Ashlyn and Alex and her jaw clenched when she saw the blonde put her hat on the shorter girl’s head. She was about to go throw a drink in Ashlyn’s face before she felt someone bump into her trying to squeeze into the bar. Ali turned to go yell at the person, but met a brunette with apologetic eyes.

 

“I’m so sor-…oh my god.” The brunette girl stuttered out, when she realized it was Ali. “I’m sorry, I sound so stupid. I did not mean to bump into you, and I’m stuttering because I’m actually a huge fan.” She said, licking her lips nervously. 

 

“It’s okay.” Ali said with a sweet, genuine smile as she turned to face the new girl. “What’s your name?” She said motioning for the bar tender to give them two drinks. 

 

“Katie.” The girl replied as she saw Ali move to pay for the drinks. “No let me, please.” She said with a smile and tossed a twenty-dollar bill on the counter. 

 

“That’s a really pretty name.” Ali responded letting her hand fall on the shorter girl’s arm. 

 

Before the other girl could respond Ashlyn had pushed herself between the two. “She’s actually good, thanks.” She said with a glare. 

 

“I didn’t mean to…I was just trying to be nice.” The girl said, as she gave Ali an apologetic look. 

 

“Don’t listen to her Katie, she has no control over anything I say or do.” Ali responded, glaring at the blonde. “I’m talking to someone, so why don’t you leave me alone and go back to Alex.” She spat out, practically pushing Ashlyn away. 

 

Ashlyn fell back a few steps and her heart sank when she saw Ali wrap an arm around the small girl’s waist. Ali gave Ashlyn a smile and lifted her drink to her lips. Ashlyn turned and ran out the bar. Alex saw her rush out of the bar and quickly followed.  After the ten minute ride back in a quiet taxi, the two girls went into Ashlyn and Ali’s room. 

 

Ashlyn sat down on her bed, put her head in her hands, and began to sob. Alex didn’t really know what to do or say, so she sat beside her and gently rubbed her back. They stayed like that for a good twenty minutes before the hotel door opened and a very drunk Ali walked through the door.

 

“Wow, this is great.” She slurred out as she chucked her purse down on her bed. She could hardly stand to look at the two seated on the bed. “First of all, who do you think you are? Deciding whom I can and cannot talk to? We are _not_ together anymore.” She said angrily as she moved to get in Ashlyn’s face, but Alex gently pushed her back. 

 

“Ali, I know you are angry about everything, but you’re drunk. We all are. So, let’s not make anything worse.” She said as she looked at the girl with sad eyes. She had never seen the older woman so angry; Ali was always so happy and kind to everyone. She’d give the shirt off her back to anyone in need. It killed her that she was the cause of all this.

 

“And you!” Ali spat out, pointing in Alex’s face. Ali’s face grew softer as she looked at the scared expression on Alex’s face. “Why do you have to be so beautiful? You can have anyone you want...” She said, lowering her hand down. “Why Ashlyn?” She said, her voice breaking. 

 

Ashlyn stood up quickly, thinking Ali might turn physical, but stopped to listen to what she had to say. “Ali..” Ashlyn trailed off, sadly. 

 

“Do you love her? Like she loves you?” She asked looking at Alex.

 

“I didn’t mean any of this, Ali.” Alex said, tears threatening to spill out. “I didn’t mean to develop feelings. I didn’t mean to kiss her. I didn’t mean to do this to you. You’re the last person I would ever want to do this to.” She said, beginning to cry.

 

Ali was angry and upset, she didn’t know what to say back. She didn’t know what to do next, so she just leaned forward and kissed the younger girl. Ashlyn gasped as she saw Ali lean in and attach her lips to Alex's. It was strange that it didn't make her jealous. She found herself enjoying the view in front of her. 

 

Alex eyes went wide when Ali's lips met her own. She moved to pull away but the older woman wrapped an arm around her waist. Alex's eyes drifted to Ashlyn’s, almost as if to make sure this was okay. Ashlyn gave a slight nod, so Alex slowly started to move her lips in synch with Ali's. 

 

After kissing her for a few more moments, Ali pulled back and looked between the two women. There was an unspoken agreement between the three that this night was going to be interesting. Ali was still so angry at the two of them, that the anger almost started to take over again. Ali unzipped her own dress letting it fall to the hotel room floor and stalked towards Alex. She ripped the dress off the younger girl in one quick motion. “Ashlyn, clothes off." She said, not looking at the blonde quite yet, they both knew Alex had to get comfortable first and that's why all of Ali's attention was on the younger girl. Once Alex's dress fell to the floor, both Ali and Ashlyn let out a groan. Ali wasted no time walking closer to the girl. Ali picked up Alex and slammed her against the wall as her legs wrapped around Ali's waist. Ashlyn rid herself of her clothes and threw them onto the ground as she kept her eyes locked on the view in front of her. 

 

Alex let out a small gasp when her back roughly hit the wall behind them. She didn't expect Ali to be so strong and so toned. She knew the girl was beyond gorgeous but nothing to this extent. Alex was about to say something when Ali's lips found their way onto her neck. Her tongue teased playfully around the sensitive area before she bit down and sucked on the sweet skin. 

 

"Familiar to you, huh?" She said against the crook of Alex's neck, as she felt the younger woman's hand rest against the back of her head.

 

Alex moaned softly in return as she opened her eyes and saw Ashlyn. She didn't have to wait long before she was taken over to the bed and thrown down on the soft sheets. She looked up between Ali and Ashlyn as they both looked at each other. The older brunette growled slightly and pulled the blonde into a deep kiss. 

 

Ashlyn felt like she was in heaven. This was the first time Ali had even looked at her, let alone kissed her, in weeks. Her hands dragged along Ali’s bare skin as they rested against her hips. "I missed you." She whispered out against soft lips. 

 

Alex felt like she was intruding while she watched the two other women interact. It was clear they were both still so in love with each other. She tried to excuse herself when a firm hand gently grabbed her wrist.

 

 "Don't go." Ali said, as she broke away from Ashlyn's grasp. Ali kissed Ashlyn a few more times before she pushed Alex back down on the bed. “I want you to stay.”

 

Ashlyn made her way over to the bed and sat beside Alex, giving her a smile as she looked over at Ali. It was as if they were communicating silently before there was a nod of agreement. Ashlyn lowered her head to kiss Alex.

 

With Ali's roaming hands and Ashlyn's lips upon her own, Alex was loving every moment. Ashlyn kissed slowly, while Ali kissed passionately. Alex wasn’t sure which one felt more right. Ali's hands were soon replaced by her lips, peppering kisses and dragging her tongue down toned abs. Small moans were muffled against the blonde's lips. Once Ali’s mouth found its way to the upper thighs of Alex's legs, the younger brunette's hips bucked slightly. 

 

Ali smirked to herself as she saw the effect she was having on not just Alex, but Ashlyn as well. She could see the amount of lust the blonde had in her eyes. Even though Ali’s seen that look hundreds of times, it still ran a chill down her spine. Ali slowly dragged Alex's black thong down her long legs as she stared at the other two. 

 

Normally, whenever someone touched Ali, at least as intimately as this, she'd be ready to kill. Tonight however, Ashlyn was more turned on than ever. She looked at Ali before looking at Alex. "You're sure you want this, Lex?" Ashlyn asked, rubbing her cheek with her thumb. 

 

“Yes!" Alex almost yelled out when Ali's hands and lips got impossibly closer. "Fuck...yes I'm sure I want this." She responded and with that, Ali’s tongue moved through her wet folds. "Ali, holy shit!” Alex rasped out, as her hand reached out to grab the back of Ashlyn's neck and pull her into a deep kiss. 

 

Ali's tongue twisted and circled around the small bundle of nerves. She looked up from what she was doing to see the other two passionately kissing, it was weird how the sight of them doing anything together no longer pissed her off. She saw Alex's body twitch with every other movement she did, it was undeniably sexy to see. After a few minutes, Ali thought Alex needed more. So, she took her free hand and slowly trailed it up smooth legs and then without warning slipped two fingers inside of Alex. 

 

Alex hips jolted when she felt a new sense of pleasure. "F-Fuck." She muttered against the blonde's lips. "Right there, please." She said taking her own hand and resting it on the back of Ali's head to keep the older brunette in place. "Don't stop." She whispered out, quietly.  

 

 

Ashlyn’s hand moved to run across the younger girl's breast. "It's okay, you can let go." She mumbled in Alex's ear before nibbling down on the younger girl's earlobe. 

 

Alex let out a loud moan as her back arched off the bed, her hands moving to grasp the sheets below her. “Fuck, Ali!" She yelled out as she threw her head back on the pillow, panting heavily. 

 

The older brunette removed her fingers and sat up as she wiped them off on her hip. She turned to look to Ashlyn and motioned for her to come closer. She ran her hands through the woman’s long blonde hair. “Hey..” She whispered out as her eyes raked over the taller woman’s face.

 

Ashlyn looked up from her view of Alex’s body as it came down from the high she had just achieved and looked at the other woman. “Hey, beautiful.” She replied, before leaning forward to capture Ali’s lips with hers.

 

It took a minute or two of kissing when Ali finally pulled away and she took in the situation in front of her. She couldn’t believe what had unfolded that led to all of this. Her thoughts got the best of her as she quickly stood from the bed. “Fuck, this was a mistake.” She said slipping her dress onto her body considering she was trying to make a quick escape.

 

Ashlyn was still breathless from the kiss but was quickly brought to reality when she watched Ali dress once again. “Als, where are you going?” She whispered out. “Please don’t go.” She begged.

 

 Alex sat up from the bed behind her wrapped in the sheets that were covering her naked body, looking confused as well. “Yeah Ali, stay we can talk about things.”

 

“I just-I’m gonna stay with Tobin tonight.” She said grabbing Alex’s room card since she was Tobin’s original roommate. She looked back at the two of them once more before rushing out.

 

“What the fuck just happened..” Ashlyn said quietly looking down at Alex with wide eyes. They sobered up real fast.


End file.
